What is a Couples Intensive?
An Intensive is a concentrated block of therapy sessions that allows us to complete 6 weeks' worth of therapy in just a couple of days. In a normal intake process, I would meet with you as a couple, then with each of you individually, then with you as a couple again, an assessment and introductory process that takes at least a month to accomplish! While this longer process certainly all the goals of beginning the Couples Counseling process, you might feel impatient to "cut to the chase" when you are in distress and need some skills and goals, pronto!
Who can benefit from an Intensive?
Any couple can benefit. You may be in crisis mode, with a bomb such as an affair, an addiction coming to light, or one partner suddenly saying "I want out." An intensive will help put a container around this distressing pain, helping the couple with clarity and soothing of the hurt feelings, alarm, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts that can accompany such a huge event.
You don't have to be in crisis to benefit from an Intensive, though. You might feel that you're "living as roommates," with the passionate and sexual part of your relationship routine or hardly there. You may be fighting the same old argument over and over, each feeling frustrated that you can't seem to come to some compromise about the issue. You may have each been simmering in anger or other unexpressed, difficult emotions, but not certain how to bring these feelings to light. Or, you may simply want a quick "relationship tune-up" to help refocus on your partnership.
One or both of you may also have experienced a life-altering trauma, such as a sexual or physical assault, abuse in past relationships, or the emotional pain of being a child in a home where you experienced emotional neglect, verbal or physical abuse, or sexual abuse. This type of trauma, especially the kind of daily, insidious trauma of CPTSD, inevitably has impacts on our ability to trust, allow vulnerability and honesty about our emotions, and feel safe and secure in relationships. A couples intensive can help you, as a couple, begin to do the work of healing trauma together, creating the feelings of safety and mutual care that you both long for.
Most practically, it may be easier to schedule a single block of time for your Counseling sessions, rather than finding weekly times that match all 3 of our schedules! A perfect solution for busy people.
What does an Intensive look like?
You will schedule an initial, free consult call of about 20 minutes so that we can talk together and I can get a brief overview of your concerns and needs, and you can ask any questions you may have about Couples therapy and the Intensive.
I will then schedule individual appointments with each of you, within the same week. These individual appointments will help me assess and understand your history, attachment style, concerns, and needs in the relationship.
Then, in that same week, we will meet together for a 4-hour session, with a half-hour break in between the 2-hour blocks. This can seem daunting to consider, but time really does go by quickly , and we can take short breaks as needed! We will be focused initially on de-escalating distress, helping me understand each of you, learning about the emotional patterns that are causing so much hurt in your relationship, and helping each of you understand this negative cycle and how to ease it. With this rationale in place, in our second block of time, we will work on some concrete skills to help you go into the week with a plan in place.
What happens after the Intensive?
After your Intensive day of Couples Counseling, you may have a better idea of where you are headed in your relationship. This may mean that with your new resolve and clarity, you'd like to continue in Couples Counseling, and you may do so with me as your Counselor, or I can make a referral for a Couples Counselor more suited to your particular needs. You may find that the couples intensive was satisfying in and of itself, and that you have the tools to go forward in your partnership in a different way without further support, or with minimal, "on call" appointments in the future. Some couples may also find that they gain the clarity that they do not wish to continue in their relationship, and this is also a positive, though of course sad and painful, outcome.
Have questions? Please click the button below to schedule your free phone consultation! I'm delighted to answer questions about how an intensive couples experience can help your relationship.