The myth is that couples counseling is a last resort when your relationship has been floundering for a long time. You might believe that one partner has to be "dragged in;" that couples counseling doesn't really work but you have to give it one last try just to say you did; or that couples counseling just stirs things up and makes it worse!
While you might feel apprehensive about starting couples counseling for any of the above reasons, the truth is that Emotion-Focused Couples Counseling (EFT-C), is extremely effective. About 75% of couples engaging in EFT-C move from disconnection, arguments, feeling hopeless about the relationship, and significantly distressed, to experiences of recovery, partnership, and healing. Couples therapy, like any form of counseling, is challenging! You and your partner will step out of your comfort zone and try conversations and ways of relating that may feel awkward, silly, scary, or overwhelming. As you practice in the safety of your counseling sessions, though, you begin to feel more confident, trusting, and safe with each other.
EFT-C addresses the roots of your relationship distress-the intense emotions that arise between you and your partner, especially during conflicts, and that can derail your best efforts to resolve problems and maintain connection with each other. Think about it: most of us have had the experience of blowing up at our partner, and in the heat of the moment feeling out-of-control and saying or doing hurtful or out-of-character things. And knowing, even in the midst of it, that we are still not addressing the conflict in a way that can resolve it, and also feeling remorse and shame, and resolving never to do THAT again! Until the next time we find ourselves in the same old conflict with our partner.
With my extensive training and experience working with couples using EFT-C, I help you get right to the heart of the matter, addressing the underlying emotions in a way that allows you both to feel heard, understood, supported, and loved. As you practice relating to each other from that place of emotional safety, your relationship deepens, softens, and feels safe and trusting.